Haiku

Here are the haiku I wrote in class from last night's found poetry exercise.

A stone falls--A heart
Alone with two children close
incessant water beats

Ancient kisses and
the same road will sustain me
Sincerely, the earth

And there is a series of haiku that I wrote about waiting--mostly about waiting for the T (buses or trains)

Absentmindedly,
Minutes are lost to waiting.
Wonder where it all goes.

People on the T
are bronze-armored barbarians
Vying for a seat.

I play Tetris with
Thoughtless thumbs--filling in gaps
with L-shaped pieces.

I often forget
that the world whispers to me--
Earphones block it all.

Words burn into my eyes--
my hand stiffens with cold.
Never felt so good.




would love to hear what you all think!

Bird

I was quite a fan of Zhang Er.  However, I think she and I suffer from the same vagueness.  Her verse is gorgeous and the images she sets are pleasing to the mind's eye.  However, I felt like I could not connect to her poetry as well as I could connect with others because of the vagueness.  Also her lines seemed to be clunky and not so smooth.  There were times when this clunkiness made the line stand out.  It mostly served to distract me, though.  I can't say there is much I would steal from Er after perusing her poetry.

Darwishian Assumption

Could not help myself with that Darwishian.  Sounds squishy.

Here is my assumptions/thoughts on poetry

The tingle on the back of my neck--
needles down my back.

Never the word. Always the
image as first seen by the eye

What's lost from brain to wrist.  Jolts at the
scarred bone in my wrist

An inexplicable need to write--energized
from that first tingle.

Images.  Images.  Images.  Flashes.
Never one color.

Infinite? Infiinty.

~~
Keep in mind this is an sandy-rough draft.

Stricken

With awe.  Drawish's collection forcibly grabs me and takes me for quite the spin in his prose and verse poems.  I have only ever written a few prose poems and seem to struggle with being able to walk that high-wire with skill.  Darwish skips along that line giddily! He is specific enough to have me, a Western reader totally removed from the plight of the East, be able to fit into his skin and words.  I often have the problem where my poetry is too abstract for my readers--something goes missing from my head to my wrist.  Darwish has this quality to a degree, but it's endearing and I never once felt myself wishing he were more clear.  He was perfectly abstract.  Left plenty to the reader--a skill which must be worked on in my case.  Specific language--Darwish punches you in the gut just the right ways to get his beautiful vision across.  Where I feel like I'm wonderful with words and how they sound pretty together, Darwish combines that with meaning.  In retrospect, I feel as if my techniques sacrifice meaning.  I'd like to be able to combine both with finesse.