Wednesday, February 2, 2011

flash fiction?!


Sleeping in my shoddy sleeping bag, eyes sore from the dusty ground around me, I bent my arm at an uncomfortable angle to make it reach my neck.  Fingers crawling over my chest to feel the cold chain that led to a slightly heavy silver locket. Following the smooth chain between my first two fingers, I follow the weight ‘til I reach the locket.  I sigh as its cold is enveloped by my fist.
                With my eyes closed and my heavy hair held up in one hand, Isaac moves to sit behind me on the bed.  Legs crossed, he brings the dangling necklace down to my chest.  It thuds and is cold against my bare skin, nestling messily at the top of my cleavage.  I shiver.  He gets closer as he brings the ends together around my neck.  All I can do is feel him—his weight shifting as he leans toward my neck, his breath tickling the few hairs not held up by my hand.  I can almost picture his fumbling thumbs trying to secure the tiny catch.  Finally, his thumbs secure the necklace and he lets it fall against my neck.  Putting my arm down, he swings both arms around me and buries his face in my hair.  He breathes and whispers that this is from the bottom of his heart so it can rest against the bottom of mine.  My eyes are still closed as he fixes his legs and wraps them around me and he brings me back with him down on the bed.  He sighs.
                The locket is warm now as I let it fall against my arm.  Eyes closed, I can feel myself slipping into dream memory.  Tonight will be bearable; my pulse beats to the locket.  Yes.

3 comments:

  1. Mark. I loved this piece. It is beautiful the way you capture both characters. I can almost see the scene as I close my eyes. Great Job!

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  2. I love the sensory appeal in this passage--it really brings it to life!

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  3. You write with an effortless precision that sets a vivid scene. You've succeeded in creating an intense drama in a small amount of space. Well done! Please, sir, may I have some more?

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